Robert Pattinson Humps His Pillow | MrPattinson.com

« Julia Jones Talks About Robert Pattinson | Edward Cullen New ‘New Moon’ Movie Stills »

Posted on Nov 05, 2009 by Grace
Categories: Headlines & Rumors | 11 comments

Depressed about his recent breakup with Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson has taken to humping pillows.

According to sources, Pattinson checked himself in to a Motel 6 in Valencia, CA on Friday. Since then, other motel guests have been complaining about the loud sobbing that comes from Pattinson’s room at all hours of the night. The only time the crying seems to stop is during one of Pattinson’s vigorous pillow-humping sessions, which happen three-to-four times a day, and last for about five-to-seven minutes each.

During the hump sessions, guests and staff members can clearly hear Pattinson’s bed creaking violently while the star yells out at the top of his lungs, “I am humping a pillow.”

Pattinson reportedly comes out of his room for 10 minutes each day in order to allow the housekeeping staff to replace his soiled pillowcases, and to stock up on Lipton Cup O Soups from the motel vending machine.Motel workers who have seem the inside of the room say it looks like a war zone, with empty Cup O Soups strewn about and the palpable stench of semen and tears lingering in the air.

It is also reported that the walls of the room are covered in Kristen Stewart’s Twilight posters, with the exception of the space on the ceiling directly above the bed, which is reserved for a poster of Pattinson’s shirtless Twilight co-star, Taylor Lautner.

Friends of Pattinson say the star needs to pull himself together, and suggest that he should find fat girl to use as a “slump buster,” adding that there is no shortage of eager fat girls among his “Twihard” fanbase.

Source: Celeb Jihad

Be Sociable, Share!

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 at 11:31 pm and is filed under Headlines & Rumors. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

11 Responses to “Robert Pattinson Humps His Pillow”

Anna written on November 5, 2009

this is just completely and absurdly ridiculous … like, who really believes this ball of crap?? it’s so sad for him that this stuff is being written about him. people need to get a life. i truly, truly feel for him.

jennifer written on November 6, 2009

i agree with the abundance of fat twihards//lol

Nicole written on November 6, 2009

omg. i was laughing throughout reading this. Like are you serious? “I am humping a pillow!” Ok whatever. I agree with you Anna.. people do need to get lives. How can they write crap like this? It’s just sad.

Oh and btw… how can you smell “tears”? lol

madison written on November 6, 2009

WoooooooooooooooW. I just laughed my ass off, somebody has to have a very weird imagination to even come up with this, and the nerve to even put it out there.
And i guess the smell of saltiness, to answer ur question, but its a moot point bcuz this is a buncha bull.
Not only is this a ridiculous dis towards him, but his overwight fans as well.
Haha, i love you Rob, keep on keepin on.

Sharon written on November 6, 2009

I’m kinda disappointed that this was even put up on this website! I’ve alittle bit less respect for you guys now I think

Sandra written on November 6, 2009

OMG!!! You’ve gotta be kiding me!!! This was so hilarious, I had no time to catch my breath, laughed my ass off – not so smart thing if you’re at work. For the love of God, who writes this things anyway?! “I am humping a pillow.” part – LMFAO!!!

ross written on November 6, 2009

this is super, dooper, mega over hilarious and intensely ridiculous joke about robert. what a poor imagination for those who invented this story. get a life and try to live in a real world! you suck really bad!

Stephanie written on November 6, 2009

i feel really bad for him, i know and we all know that, that is not true and impossible but writing a rumor like that about him ..it’s just ridiculous and very depressing

Ana (Sao Paulo-Brazil) written on November 6, 2009

Humping a pillow? Had I heard about scraps of headboard too? Where´s Bella in that? I´m sorry but I couldn´t stop myself have been a little ironic. Junk news that´s all I want to say about that article.

Yeshika written on November 9, 2009

What a load of crap!!! He doesnt want any attention from papparazzi, as if he would really say stupid things like this! Can people come up with something a little bit more believable next time?…Rob is a beautiful, and talented artist… Guess everyone is trying to jump on the bandwagon of Rpattz’s fame! Its sad, and pathetic what people will come up with ,just for a “story”

Shappy6 written on December 8, 2010

Rubbish. Poor Rob, having to tolerate this Sort of rubbish written about him. Should he ever break up with kristin there are numerous nubile, young starlets hot for him…he wouldn’t need a pillow.

« Julia Jones Talks About Robert Pattinson | Edward Cullen New ‘New Moon’ Movie Stills »

11 Responses to “Robert Pattinson Humps His Pillow”

Leave a Reply