Director: Chris Weitz
Screenwriters: Melissa Rosenberg
Starring: (press conference) Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Michael Sheen, Dakota Fanning
Running Time: 130 mins
Certificate: 12A
Ratings: 2/5 Stars

If the first instalment of The Twilight Saga was a celebration of teenage sulkiness, then this sequel positively drowns in it. As Bella, Kristen Stewart is pure ‘heroin chic’, though it isn’t drugs that means she’s looking so pale; it’s being dumped by her bloodsucking vampire soul-mate Edward (Robert Pattinson doing his James Dean impression) because he worries for her soul. Sigh… But it, like, totally sucks because he leaves town, which means all the girls who come to watch this movie hoping for two-plus hours of drool-worthy close-ups might feel, like, totally frustrated.Taylor Lautner hogs most of the screen-time as rosy-cheeked Native American kid, Jacob. His feelings for Bella run deeper as their friendship becomes closer and even she starts to look at him in a different light; most notably when he whips off his shirt to reveal washboard abs. In the moonlight, he’s even more imposing and much, much hairier. He’s a werewolf but – yes, you guessed it – he’s a bit reluctant about the whole bloodthirsty killing part. Bizarrely though, it’s only when Jacob turns into a giant CG Lycanthrope that he becomes interesting. Unfortunately, Lautner has all the charisma of aforementioned washboard. No wonder Bella can’t get over Edward.

Their separation is made more sweetly painful by spooky visions of you-know-who that coincide with moments of great danger. Hence, Bella becomes a biker babe. Of course in the mountainous backwoods where she lives, she can only go so far off the rails. This entire adrenalin-fuelled exercise is lamely unconvincing, like The Fast & The Furious meets Sweet Valley High. However, for the film’s producers, it means Pattinson fans can get an ethereal flash of him at carefully measured intervals. (Swoon…) Still, it’s left to Jacob to bare fangs when bitchy vamp Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre) shows up baying for Bella’s blood. It’s a score she needs to settle with Edward after he did away with the un-dead love of her non-life in part one.

While all this is going on, we’re to assume that Edward is busy writhing in angst over his decision to leave Bella behind. Pattinson does at least get to do a bit of pouting on-camera when he finally remerges in the last act. Michael Sheen also pops up, quite Christopher Lee-like, as the camp vampire overlord who muses on the fate of the star-crossed lovers. But this denouement feels crudely tacked on. As before, the chemistry between Pattinson and Stewart helps to cover some of the cracks, but with the little amount of time they’re onscreen together, it’s like trying to patch up a flesh wound with Elastoplast. It also underlines the lack of a genuine rapport between Stewart and Lautner which bleeds the middle section of the film dry.

Stewart deserves credit for carrying the film on her shoulders and, once again, bringing plenty of soul to a character who might otherwise come across as self-indulgent. Lovelorn teenage girls will relate to scenes of her alone in her bedroom, glumly watching the seasons change to a soft-rock soundtrack. Director Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass) offers a few other evocative moments, like an underwater encounter between Bella and Edward which looks like it could’ve been inspired by an old Calvin Klein perfume ad. But the effect of that dreary dreamscape is always rudely broken by crass sexual overtones; Lautner and his pack mates run around the woods bare-chested in cut-off jeans, howling, like refugees from a ’90s boy band. Perhaps the noise is meant to distract us from what’s really going on. Which is nothing much really. 130 minutes of it too… A draining experience, but not in a good way.

Source: Digital Spy

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